Sometimes it is really really hard to stop viewing your life in the increments between scans and checkups. I know exactly when my 3 months are up and it is time to go back to the doctor for bloodwork. Every 6 months, I get a mammogram. Well, two weeks ago, I had a pretty big "oh crap!" moment. I went in for my mammo and while I was waiting to speak with the radiologist and hear that everything was A-OK, the mammo tech comes up to me and says, "Hey, I need to get a few more pictures."
My worst nightmare. Hearing those words. I was fozen. Oh crap. What the heck does that mean?!? She told me that they saw something on my films so that warranted taking close-ups of my cells. Ugh.
After a few more pictures, I was shown my films and the white spots that appeared in the area where my cancer once was. Uh oh. What is that!?!
They told me I could wait 3 months and come back for another mammo to see if the spots had changed, or I could biopsy it. The only way to know for sure is a biopsy. No way I was waiting 3 months. So, I went in to have a biopsy. Waiting for that appointment was agony. I was instantly flung back into that period of infusions and scans that I thought I was starting to finally put behind me. The biopsy itself was pretty painless, although it did sort of feel like getting your ear pierced, except ya know, they didn't stick the needle through my ear.
Four days later I got the results. I noticed that I had a missed call and a new voicemail from my doctor. The waiting was killing me and I wanted to know if I was going to be able to move forward in the new direction I have charted, or if I was going to be stuck back in the past two years again. As I started to listen to the voicemail, I swear my heart stopped beating. I was completely still as I listened to the best words a person can ever hear from their doctor. She said "You don't have to call me back...."
Whew! Great news!